I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
Randomize
