i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
Pants 0. Shit 1.
I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
false alarm. still invincible.
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Randomize
