so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
