Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
