physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
Randomize