i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
