I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
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