this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
