I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
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