I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
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