We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
And the cops told us we were all naked.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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