I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
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