please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Randomize
