She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
