i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Randomize
