his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
Randomize
