So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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