better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
Randomize
