Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Randomize