The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Randomize
