The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
Randomize
