apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
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