That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
