im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
one word: firstdatebathroomanal
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
Congratulations! We have a period
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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