Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
