Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
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