So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
