Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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