After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
