The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
Randomize
