my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize
