Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize