this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Randomize
