if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
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