So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
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