There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
Randomize
