I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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