my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
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