Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
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