my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
this boner is exhausting
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
My vagina just recognized that song.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
She needs sedatives and a leash
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Randomize
