I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Randomize
