oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
Randomize
