Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
