so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
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