I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
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