Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Randomize
