i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
Is it because I queefed?
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
