I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
