I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
What a dumb baby whore.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
Randomize
