Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
Randomize
