Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
Randomize
