i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
