using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Randomize
