Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
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