im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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