I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
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