i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
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