I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Randomize
