she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
