belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
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