I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
