There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
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