I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
Randomize
