I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
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