so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
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