Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
sex in a hospital.. check
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
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